12 Pieces Of Dad Gold (Or What Every Father Should Tell His Son)
Posted by Steve Munroe | Under Life Thursday May 29, 2008
Dad’s are great, but hell! do they suck at communication - especially with the fruit of their loins. Often the nearest they come is when they ask you if you want to speak to your mother as soon as they’ve picked up your call, or when they ask archly why you want the car. And yet, they must have so much they could pass on to their unripe and in-desperate-need-of-a-shower progeny.
Here then are some nuggets of Dad Gold; 12 things all fathers should explain to their sons before they unleash them all sweaty and eager onto the world (I’ll leave it to you girls to comment on what you want to hear from Dad).
- If you want to fit in with other men you MUST follow at least one sport (and no, curling doesn’t count) - you do want to fit in with other men, don’t you?.
- Real men spend no longer than three minutes on their hair a day. Any more and your risking your inheritance.
- Women respect a man who can stand up to them, they also do not, and will never, care about the offside rule.
- Your woman might earn more than you. You will struggle with this but learn to deal with with it and don’t whine.
- Even when your 40 there will be times when you will feel like a little boy.
- Skincare products will not make you look younger, they will only embarrass you at the checkout and make me review my will.
- Start saving money early and and start saving money regularly.
- The order is: Education –> Career –> Women. i.e. you’re love life will improve once you’re educated and successful. Do not get this the wrong way round or you might never find the time for a career. You will then be poor and your relationships will suffer as a consequence.
- I will always be stronger than you, Even when I’m in a wheelchair and have lost control of my bladder. You will never beat me in an arm wrestle. Nope. Not now. Not ever.
- As you get older, the urge to have sex with beautiful women will not go away. You’ll just be too tired to care. Your wife will understand this, and it will form the basis of her trust in you not to philander.
- Learn to do one practical thing well with your hands.
- Don’t ask me for money, but know that I’ll save your sorry butt when your world comes tumbling down.
